RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

My dream to travel for the summer to pass out angel pins was on the verge of happening. This was not an all-expenses paid trip – this was being funded by the sale of my house and the bounty of a Discover credit card.
I had thought about pitching a tent and camping so that Ryan and I could do the 7000-mile trip on a budget. With the high cost of gas, creeping up to $3.50 a gallon, tolls and other travel expenses, I was more than a little apprehensive.
So were most of the people who knew me, especially since we had never camped before and I didn’t have a job. E-mails and phone calls from well-meaning friends could not dissuade me but they did cause me to clasp my hands, clench my teeth and pray like crazy for guidance.
Inside I fumed because very few people in my life believed in me. What did people expect me to do – after five months of planning, twiddle my thumbs and say, “Well I guess y’all are right” and cancel my plans!
Trisha, I don’t think you should do this. Why don’t you just stay put this summer? I think you are being unrealistic.
Make no mistake, it’s not that I think you don’t want to help others but why not here in your own backyard? You could do volunteer work locally. You can’t afford to do this.
I know that you like adventure, perhaps this is a mid-life crisis and you can work through it at home this summer.
I tried to seek support from hotels for a complimentary overnight room, auto dealers for a free summer van rental, and food chains for a few meals but there were only a few managers who wanted to support an unknown mom and her son driving around the small towns of Middle America following some idealistic dream of bringing help to hurting others. I liked to think that I was creative and imaginative but my cheeks burn as I remember what some relatives thought of my idea.
But I knew THE ANGELS ALONG THE WAY GOODWILL TOUR was off to good start when Erma called. She was the first lady to respond to an article in a Florida newspaper announcing that we were going to visit Orlando. I felt love and warmth over the telephone line – even before meeting her.
A hairdresser for the Disney characters at the Epcot theme park, Erma read about our campaign to spread hope.
She said, “I would like you and Ryan to be my guests.”
As a Disney employee she had complimentary passes. I had to tell her that although the newspaper said Ryan and I would be traveling south, we had added two more to our traveling clan in the van. My husband, John, and Ryan’s friend Dale were packed and ready to go. She checked with her co-worker, Gerri Linda, and between the two of them, they offered admission passes to all Disney properties for all four of us, for two days.
They met us at the park entrance and flashed bright smiles as well as the tickets.
Later in the day, just sitting and being with each other outside a Holiday Inn, I knew I had met somebody very special. We talked about daily struggles, laughed about how we both handled the hassles in our life, and I mentioned a troublesome note that I had recently found related to a family member – you know the type that puts a mother on high alert.
She didn’t know it but just a half hour before, I was outside the hotel, letting myself have a good cry. My body was shaking and I felt weak and looked pale. I had worked my emotions into a tizzy, fretting about other people in my family. (Thank goodness I had the good sense to move away from my own van, decorated with angels and stars, while sobbing!)
I thought about postponing our “meeting” until I could at least put makeup over the blotches on my face and dark circles under my eyes. How could the “angel pin lady” who was on the road to help others be caving in?
It wasn’t the kind of topic that I would have shared with friends back home. Oh, how God works mysteriously and magically when grim topics (like the note) play in a mom’s mind. Erma had a very similar issue with a family member and what a great solution she offered. You don’t need to do anything about the note. All kids feel that way at one time or another.
She passed along a “truth” that only moms and wives who have been on that route before could offer. I desperately needed to know her message “that everything is going to be okay” and relief surged through my body.
I gave her lots of angel pins and she gave me a beautiful wind chime and an angel that she crafted herself. But, oh she gave me so much more.
What she didn’t know was that this trip to Florida was part of marriage reconciliation, the first time my husband and I had traveled together in seven years. There I was, a middle-aged woman with a spreading waistline, trying to re-create what we had before we separated - I was scared, really scared. I was afraid to let my guard down – we had gone to a marriage repair weekend and unfortunately, after talking in depth, we had not forgiven each other for the hurts and were unable to give each other unconditional love. We still wanted the other one to change.
We had lived apart for five years – after being married for twenty-five years. I was confused about some things and anxious about two lives that had been out of touch for so long. In many ways, we were disconnected. And yet both of us wanted to be rekindled.
She was compassionate, good humored and seem to know about tools for healing. I don’t know why but I found myself sharing painfully honest feelings about my relationship with my husband. We had each been on our own for five years, self-centered, preoccupied selves, how could we become as one again? We both wanted to have an authentic relationship but there was a lot of sadness and hurt that had sucked the energy out of our relationship. We had come back together for a crisis related to one of our children, not because of a deep yearning for romance.
And then I met Erma, a stranger with a long-lasting marriage, with pearls of wisdom to share. She seemed to have kept her eyes on the prize even when problems cropped up.
At first, it seemed impossible to pull all of the details of the trip together, but faithful angel friends, like Erma, helped every step of the way.
I pulled out my dog-eared notebook, bulging with scribbled words of encouragement, strength and fortitude that I collected while separated, wise words of wisdom, and I penned Erma’s words of advice. God has brought your husband back for comfort and support. It has been a gift from God. “God Change” happens slowly, but it will last.
Comfort and support, the two things that I needed when I asked him to come home. I was feeling weak, overwhelmed and alone. I needed him. He needed me. We all needed each other, for comfort and support. The other things, the romance, managing money together, spirituality, mutual friends, the things that were still a little fuzzy, they could wait. I now had profound comfort and support, and that is what I need the most.
The “Disney Lady” probably wouldn’t even remember what she said that night, but they were words I will never forget.
Maybe it is a mid-life crisis, and I thank Erma for helping me through it.